One of the things that has been on my mind this morning is the idea of being BIG. And when I talk about being BIG, I mean the magic that happens when we come into our own and step into all that we can be, without limitations, hesitation, or fear. Being BIG is about loving all of who we are, embracing it, and taking off with it to do BIG things in the world - whatever brings us more joy, compassion, and love. Added bonus if you also use your BIGness to serve, empower, and help others.
One of the things I realized is that in order to fully embrace your BIG, you can't be small, play small, or allow people to make you smaller. I think these three aspects of smallness are actually very distinct issues that we can work on everyday in specific ways:
1) Stop being small - When I say stop being small, I really mean stop that negative self-talk and any other things you do inside your head that make you feel tiny, insignificant, incompetent, or less than any other human being in the world. I know for myself sometimes I am my biggest critic and I can play a tape of negativity in my mind (and do a replay!) that can convince me I am small. I can convince myself that I do not have anything valuable to offer the world, my loved ones, or my community. The mind is a profoundly powerful thing, right? So put all of your thoughts in the positive direction. Try this: every time you notice a self-defeating thought - a making-you-small thought - immediately reverse it to a positive one. Like this! One thought that comes up in my mind a lot is "You're not doing enough and you're not making a difference." So what I do to change it quickly is "You are doing a lot and you serve your community, Lun" and then I think of a time where I did that successfully. This allows me to keep a realistic perspective of myself and keep me in my BIGness.
2) Play BIG, not small - What do I mean by playing small? Playing small is the action of not taking risks, limiting ourselves because we are afraid, and missing out on adventure. Playing small is that voice in our heads that tells us "You can't do it." And then if we listen to it, we start believing that we can't do it and this limits our world and all of the possibilities in it. We close ourselves off to love, our dreams, and adventure. So how do you play BIG? You start saying YES to the things that make you uncomfortable, uneasy, and slightly afraid. You say YES to love, connection, adventure, and challenges. You take the risk and dive deeply in and see what the journey has for you to discover. You just say yes. It's that simple. For more information on how to say yes, please check out Shonda Rhimes' TED Talk My Year of Saying Yes to Everything: https://www.ted.com/talks/shonda_rhimes_my_year_of_saying_yes_to_everything
3) Find people that love you BIG, don't allow people to make you smaller - Throughout my life I have experienced two kinds of people: 1) the people that love me up, encourage me, believe in me and see more BIGness in me than I can even imagine myself and 2) the people that tell me "You should rethink that," "You're not really that great," or "You're crazy, you can't do that." The latter kind of people are the ones that I refer to when I say don't let people make you smaller. You are only as good as the people you surround yourself with and if you look around your circle and notice that all you have are a bunch of negative-Nancys and haters, then it's time to freshen up your friend circle. Surround yourself with people that you aspire to be, that love you and encourage you, that see you as larger than life (even when you don't see yourself that way). These are the people that will help you step into your BIGness and when you do, support you all the way through. These are the miracle grow people. Go find them and be with them.
Once we stop defeating ourselves with smallness, we can step into all that we are and be BIG. But first we have to take an honest look at what is keeping us small and all the ways that it's happening in our life. Stepping into our BIGness is a process and a journey, not an arrival point. It takes daily awareness, practice, and change. But once you experience your BIG, you will want nothing more than to learn how to live in it fully and keep it growing. For it is in our BIG that we experience the most love and joy.
Cheers to being BIG!
Interested in learning more on how to step into your BIGness? Contact me for an appointment!